Characters/Pairing: Jennifer Keller, Rodney/Carson
Word Count: ~626
Warning: Spoilers for ‘The Shrine’
Summary: Missing scene. Rodney remembers and wants to say goodbye.
Disclaimer: They don’t belong to me.
The sun was shining brightly that day as Rodney cast his line into the ocean. He glanced over and gave Carson a smile. When the other man didn’t return it, Rodney frowned and looked away.
“Don’t say it.”
“You don’t belong here, Rodney.”
He shook his head. “I will soon,” he answered. “There’s nothing they can do for me.”
“Give them a chance. Jennifer will figure it out, I’m sure of it,” Carson said in a reassuring voice.
“Maybe I want to be here,” Rodney said. He raised his head and looked around. It was perfect there. Everything was green and full of life, and none of the flowers or trees made him sneeze. And Carson was there. “Don’t make me go back.”
Carson stepped closer and lightly ran his fingers down Rodney’s cheek. “You don’t belong here, love,” he repeated. “Your time isn’t up. You need to go back.”
“But I’m scared.”
“Close your eyes,” Carson told him.
Rodney did as he was told and he felt Carson’s lips lightly brush over his. It was perfect and Rodney wanted to stay there with him. He had missed him too much to let him slip away but soon the warmth of Carson’s kiss was replaced by coolness.
Opening his eyes, Rodney grunted when he saw he was back in the infirmary. With his eyes wide, he looked around and started to whimper. He could barely remember his name, yet he remembered what it was felt like to be near Carson and he wanted him there.
“Carson!” he cried out. “Where’s Carson?”
Jennifer rushed in and over to Rodney’s bedside. “We contacted him yesterday, Rodney. He’s on his way,” she said.
“Need to say goodbye to him.”
“Rodney...he’ll be here in a few days and then you can--.”
“No!” he yelled, his fists balling around the sheets of the bed. “Need to say goodbye now! With the camera. Please.”
With a resigned sigh, Jennifer nodded and walked to her office to get the camera they’d been using to monitor Rodney regression. When she came back, she put a blank tape in and turned it on. “Go ahead,” she said.
Rodney slowly sat up in the bed and smoothed down his pajamas. “Hi, Carson,” he said, waving. “I-I wanted to tell you goodbye because I’m really sick. And I’m sorry. I should have went fishing with you. I remember that. Fishing.” Tears filled his eyes and Rodney looked down at his hands. He couldn’t remember where he was but he could remember breaking his promise to go fishing with Carson and what happened afterwards.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he cried while rocking himself back and forth. He buried his face in his hands and loudly sobbed. “Didn’t want you to die. Didn’t want you to leave.”
When Jennifer made a move to come closer, Rodney looked up and waved her off. “Gotta..finish. Say goodbye to Carson. Didn’t get to before,” he said as he continued to rock his body. “Carson. I love him.”
“Okay,” Jennifer quietly said before stepping back.
“I’m Mister Rodney McKay and I want to tell Doctor Carson Beckett goodbye and I love him. I’ll see him soon and we can go fishing,” Rodney said, clear as day. He then broke into even more sobs. “I’m done. Done. I’m done.”
Jennifer nodded and stopped the camera. Carefully, she took the tape out and gave Rodney a small smile. “I’ll put this away and make sure he gets it when he arrives,” she said.
“Okay. Carson come soon. Then we’ll go fishing.” Rodney nodded and laid back on his bed. “Soon I’ll be with him. And go fishing. Soon.”
Rodney then closed his eyes and hoped to dream of Carson once again.